… But still, doesn’t a SNOW EMERGENCY warrant the cancellation of anything?
Apparently not. And it’s a damn good thing, because had class been canceled, I would have missed the glory of this lecture: …How to plunge a toilet. For the record, this is the only lecture I’ve ever had that was anything like this, but I’m pretty sure everyone in this class (Flush and Gush, aka Toilets, aka Facilities Operation) sat through this particular class thinking, “wow, my life is a joke.”
I remember a cool afternoon on an Ithaca Sunday when I was soaking up sun rays through a break in the clouds. And watching the kids run home from school, well I just smiled as they laughed and played because I remembered those happy days and I could see so many more ahead of me.
And I know that you think I’m foolish and maybe I was that day. I suppose that the blue skies will turn to grey when it rains from those clouds. But though it may snow I’ll still know it’s true that we’ve got a whole world to change! Oh don’t you remember what they used to say? That “we could be anything we wanted to be”…
Oh I spent my days walking across
waterfalls and through those ivy-covered halls, taking for granted it all, the life I’d leave come the fall, and I don’t know
when I’ll return to my old new home where I learned why the sunshine shone but I will see you again o’er those gorges we’d known…
Sebastian! Yes, Ariel? I just got my first bio prelim back, and I got a C. What do I do? Ariel, listen to me. High school? It’s in the past! Life at Cornell is better than anything they had over there…
You got all straight A’s in high school Cause you went to every class You were what we call a brown nose You learned how to kiss the ass But since you arrived at Cornell All you do is go out and play And while you were getting funky You did sucky! You didn’t get an A
You got a C (you got a C) You got a C (you got a C) You thought you’d done better Then you saw the letter You got a C All of the nerds they work all day Locked in their rooms they slave away While you were snoozin’, flirtin’ and boozin’ You got a C!
You could have been working harder But there’s so much else to do Like when you got smashed at Chi Phi And you did some keg stands too Going streaking until the sunrise You passed out at 5AM And when you woke up you realized…
You got a C You got a C I’m willing to wager That you’ll change your major Take it from me (4 times) You came with ambition, brains and style But now you’ve been smokin’ for awhile You’ve forgotten your name now So transfer to AEM now! You got a C
You got a C Your grades may be rocky Just learn to play hockey And A’s will be free! So your dad’s a rocket scientist Oh man is he gonna be pissed You make him unhappy ‘Cause you did crappy You got a C!
Harvard and Brown They both turned you down Their grades are so great because they inflate They may have us spanked in all of the ranks But we kicked their ass in best motto
Cornell is not easy It makes you feel queasy To earn the good grade instead of get laid But if you don’t do it And just say “Oh, screw it” Then your GPA will blooowwww
doo da doo ba ba badeeda key change
Yeah, you got a C You got a C Don’t be forlorn but you can’t look at porn You have to study So premed’s harder than you thought Become a hotelie then you’ve got Your ticket to riches Fame, fortune, and bitches You got a C
Start learning and thinking instead of just drinking You got a C Start caring a damn about your next exam Or start working at frickin’ Kentucky fried chicken Yeah we excel here ‘Cause we’re Cornell here! You got a C